Spiritual Aspirations

2008-06-25T11:58:00.000+10:00

Snap!!

2008-05-21T08:44:00.006+10:00

Snap!!

Just a child's game

Snap!!

Watching the cards "dancing"
Across a dirty table

Snap!!

This deck is getting
worn and tired

Snap!!

This deck does not want to play
children's games

Snap!!

You've won ... ... ... I've run out of cards

The Eagle

2008-04-02T11:04:00.003+11:00

Let me be the feather
On the wing of The Eagle

Souring high above
the darkened clouds

Where the fear of the wind
Becomes a caress

As I know

It is the means

Of my flight..........

For a cherished Uncle

2007-11-29T09:17:00.000+11:00

Are you my Father?

Was I conceived in your art?

Did you will me to life
Placing me in the arms of a cherished brother
Leaving me to grow
While you continued on your path

Am I your daughter?

Was I born from the seed of your imagination?

Praying to Allah
Begging him to show you a glimpse
Of another road walked ...... A daughter to call your own

Were your prayers answered?

Did He take a copy of your spirit
Breathing it into my own
Allowing me to grow as a replica.........

The child

born

of your art

Mary-Ann Elizabeth

2007-10-16T08:02:00.001+10:00

You own that part of my heart,

The part no man can touch,
The part no child can replace

The part you did not ask for
The part I did not intend to give.

It was yours,
From the moment of my being
The first light inside the womb
Your tiny hand, pressed against the mystery
Your ear, listening for my heartbeat
Whispering to me your dreams
As they travelled through the abyss.

From that moment,
Our souls were connected
Latched, by an invisable thread

Your dreams became my dreams
Your grief, connected to my grief
Your joy, forever my joy

You are my curse...... you are my blessing

You are my weakness....... you are my strength

For years I have tried to escape you
Life chooses our own paths
But the thread is always tugging
Drawing me back to your side

I am trapped....... I am free

Oh my sister, don't you see?!
You will always own that part of my heart

Love

2007-08-05T13:49:00.003+10:00

Love

A word that we use every day

But when we say it, do we really mean it?

Love

Such a small, simple word
and yet, I have been told, it carries so much meaning

But what is it?
Are there different forms?
There is the love you have for your mother, your brother, your partner or the stranger you meet on the street.....?
But which is the correct love?

Love

What is true love?
We see the word so often in print
But I want to know the real meaning

There is self-love...
There is love for others...
There is the love you show when others hurt you...
But which love is the correct love??

I am so confused with the word LOVE!
For example, how can you love those who are cruel to you?
How can you love those who wish to humiliate you?
How can you love those who see your weaknesses and use them as a spring board for their benefit?

Love

WHAT IS LOVE?!?!?

Love....... so simple

Yet so hard to do........

My Lord, you descended from Your heveanly throne and became man in order to sacrifice Yourself as an offering to the Father to cleanse me of my sins.

Teach me to love as you loved. Squash my self-love and help me to see the hurt in others, which I am blinded to, when they are hurting me. Teach me to die for them for I know, as you knew, they know not what they do....

I am yours........ help me..........

".... Pray for it is through prayer that you learn how to pray as surely as you can only learn to love by loving....
Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and Psalm 31:7-16 and always return to my belovd Paul's 1st letter to the Corinthians 13:4-8...."

2007-06-20T11:10:00.000+10:00

I come from the blood of pride

Yet have been given the knowledge of humility

Lord Jesus, please replace my blood with thy own so I may better serve thee

David Hicks

2007-06-10T23:39:00.000+10:00

David Hicks, terrorist supporter!?!?
I am not fully aware of the facts regarding the charges made against David. What really plauges me is if he was an Australian born Lebanese who was found overseas supporting terrorism would they have cared so much about bringing him back home??

Never the less, if you are innocent, welcome back David Hicks.
And if you are guilty, the same applies.

After all, in politics, what does it really matter........

What do you see?

2006-08-16T23:53:00.000+10:00

Different children......
Different countries......
Different Lives......

Same innocence......

My Father, Lebanon

2006-07-19T19:14:00.000+10:00

Lebanon,
The country I have not smelt, nor touched
The country never really in my thoughts.
The country I was told to love, told to respect
Mechanically praising from the land of my birth.

Lebanon, My Father,
Forever waiting, patiently,
behind your disobedient daughter

I turned my back on you
Prostituted your name,
Claimed another country as my own
While blocking your breeze
Pushing to reach me
Across the changing seas

Lebanon, my beautiful Father
I am now naked, shivering at your feet
Your breeze, once ignored
tortures me
Slashing me with the cries, the fear, the helplessness of your people

My people.....

LEBANON! Ya Bouba*, do you hear me?!

I am sorry, so desperately sorry.

Your disobedient daughter has returned
Your flag has been placed on my naked shoulders
Covering my shame
As I walk through a strangers street, praising your name

"Lebanon, Lebanon, Lebanon"

*'Ya Bouba' means 'Oh My Father' in Arabic.

My Nephew

2006-06-18T19:51:00.000+10:00

You are looking into the face of pure innocence....
Free from sin, free from destruction.
Brought into the world for one purpose, to allow us to remember we are capable of infinate love.

When in his presence, the great are humbled, the sorrowful become joyous, the angry are soothed and the hurt are comforted.

We watch in wonder, allowing the magic of his complete dependance to bring out our complete surrender, to serve the needy with unconditional love.

We are again, the children of God, even if it's just for a minute

We are bewitched..........by a baby

Welocome into the world my angel.........Love always, Aunty Josette

Wake up call........

2006-05-10T11:54:00.000+10:00

I have been going to the gym every day for the last few weeks, trying to lose those extra kilos that have crept up on me through the years.

Everytime I go, there is one guy that always catches my eye.
He is absolutely gorgeous! He has the greatest body, the most gorgeous eyes and .......... well lets just say that his physique is perfect.

Over the weeks, my obsession grew with the outer beauty of this male and even though I could see that his personality was nothing I would ever EVER consider, it became oblivious when compared to those hard shoulders.

Yes, like every other human, I can be extremely aesthetic.

A few days ago, I walked passed my mortal God and saw him staring at the rear end of this poor girl running on the treadmill. He turned and made a remark to one of his friends and on the left hand side of his teeth, there was a big green piece of lettuce which no one had bothered to notify him of.

Now I am not laughing at this man, I have been caught out in similar embarrassing situations, as have we all. He is just the poor victum of my over enthusiastic imagination. But it gave me a BIG wake up call.

HE WAS ONLY HUMAN!!

His outer body was absolutely perfect but underneath he is like me, like you, like evey single human being on this planet.

We elevate people to majestic heights and soon they start to feel that they are majestic. They, inturn, begin to treat people as their inferiors.

But do we balme them if it is we who elevated them in the first place??

Mary-Ann Elizabeth

2006-05-05T23:11:00.000+10:00

A Mother's Requiem

2006-04-17T15:25:00.000+10:00

Do you remember?

We were sitting at your table
And you cried....

The spark in me ignited,
My mind began the creation of a new you
Carrying with me, your tears
Reminding me of the gift you unintentionally gave me
A glimpse of your pain, a small crack
emerging through your carefully placed shield

It has happened again.......

For months you housed your joy
Only to have it snatched away.
Before your breath could warm its face
Before your mind had a chance to dream
Dream of the life that it would lead......

They all love you,
When you grieve, they hurt
So you were told
"Don't be upset! You have two, be grateful!"

Two, three, none........
A child was lost, a child eternally embedded in your heart
A child with blue, maybe green eyes
A child with your smile and their fathers laugh
Maybe a doctor, a teacher, or even the liberator of mankind!?
They could have been........

So grieve, my love

Grieve.....

Grieve as I send my healing with the wind.....

And,
After the agony subsides

You will realise
Your child's body is lost
But their soul lives
Lives on through the two you have
And through the future of your seed

I see you, my love
Sitting alone in a darkened room
Imagining them at your breast

Know that I see you........

So grieve........

Slaughtered Angel

2006-02-07T11:39:00.000+11:00

Josette Baini

(i)
One board…
Held with two rusty nails.
Ancient ropes…
Tied to the bones of an old tree.

A little boy…
Swinging on his treasure,
Flying to the sounds
Of the laughing wind.

“Higher, Daddy, Higher!”
The old tree groans
Under the weight of innocence.
“Faster, Daddy, Faster!”
The ancient rope cries
Under the pull…
of the free.

(ii)
Standing in a paradise of ruin,
Searching for a hidden Father,
Dodging the little black fairies,
Fleeing from the mocking wind.

Staring into the eyes
of a rippling fire.
Holding onto the hand
of a trembling sea.

Feeding from the spirit
of a depleting Mother.
Feeding from the breast
that holds no milk within.

Safety’s found in lifeless arms,
A crumbling stench begins.
Covering him like a cherished blanket
Camouflaging him from the eyes
of demons that sing.

(iii)
A pilgrim…
Lost in a city of ruin.

Searching for a playground,
Searching for a friend.

Running through the moans of phantoms,
Breathing in fumes of decay,
Blindly falling on melted beings,
Blocking the sounds of shattering screams.

Hunger is not an option!
Innocence eats what he sees.
A pool of blood quenches
the unquenchable thirst.
Decaying soil feeds
the grumble
of our sin.

(iv)
Gravity pulls at the
bag of skeleton flesh.
Growls of hunger intimidate
the stillness of night air.

Finally…
Finding a familiar place.

What was once his playground
Now serves as the graveyard
for the unburied dead.

Searching for an unused tomb…
Finding no space untouched.

Slowly… …
Trudging back to the ruins
Embellishing the body of his
Beloved.

Her favourite dress,
Worn by an infested ghoul.
Nevertheless,
Knowing that it is she.

Gently,
A drooping head is laid
on her perfumed breast.
Cuddling into the warmth
of what had been.

Finally he sleeps……
The slumber of an angel.
And wakes……
In the garden of his dreams.

___________________________________________________

“In the last decade alone 1.5 million children have died in wars.
Four million have been disabled and a further 10 million have been traumatised.
The severe psychological wounds that war inflicts on children can scar them for life,
Crippling the very generations that must one day re-build their devastated countries.
For the future peace of the world we must do everything in our power to help these war children” Save the children Fund

“To them a name,
To us a statistic” unknown

“But….
These children will grow to be men” anonymous

“He is there….
In the little corner of our heart,
In the dust that settles on our conscience.
He is there….
But with the flick of a switch,
The dust is swept away” Josette Baini

The Ocean

2006-01-25T21:19:00.000+11:00

Sitting in my room… …

The darkness,
My faithful companion.
Hearing the pounding
of the waves crash
With each car that glides by.

The ocean is calling me… …
With every beat that passes,
The ocean is calling to me… …

I make my way,
Again,
To my trusted sanctuary.
The sanctuary that waters all my secrets,
The sanctuary where fishes breed
On the offerings
of my dreams.

Finally,
Like a prisoner feasting on his freedom
I see it… …
Time has slowly stopped,
And my heart erupts as the volcanic beauty
Of the undefeated
shakes me to wake.

With each crashing truth,
Doubts and fears melt away
As the salt water corrodes the rock
That had become my heart.

Wonder is safely captured in my vision
And hours pass
As the free souls of the missed ones
Reassure me through the whistle of the
spraying sea.

I am whole again… …
I am at peace with the earth… …
I am at peace… … ... ... ... ... ... ... with me

Life Cycle

2005-11-30T13:02:00.000+11:00

My grandmother….
Hearing her live through
the years of yesterday

Knowing
she will be the last glimpse
of my past

After she is gone…..
my parents belong before
I am now
My children, the future

After she is gone…..
Death’s sneer gets closer
Opening his tap on my fear
Moistening years that have gone
Thirsting years to be

Soon they will be asking me the questions

What if I don’t have the answers?

My Niece, Jacinta

2005-11-30T12:57:00.000+11:00

Watching her
Watching me

Watching an ant
The sky
Her hand
My hand
Clapping hands

Listening to her
Form words
Shape words
Speak words
Thread words

Chasing her
through the fields of life
where yesterday she crawled
but today she walks.

It’s like
watching myself
rediscover the secrets of the wind
hidden inside
the eyes of a child

Where did I lose my way?

Son of the Cedars - Boullous il Bahri

2005-11-30T12:49:00.000+11:00

i

A soothing wind
Caresses the sleep stained cheek
Of an emptying youth

Shaking the foundations of time
Chilling the boundaries of dream
Guiding his first steps to their calling
The calling of ancient tongues
Ancient tongues
Waiting to fill the troth
of youthful ears.

He is placed in their northern circle
And christened one of their own
Emblazoning him with their gifts
"Of Strong roots thrust into arid rock"
Of a silent tongue that watches the forest play
And a spirit that lives while the earth decays

They brand his image to their trunks
And legitimise him with their name

Son
Son of the cedars
They chant
As the sun takes the shape of the moon
As the ground treads the steps of centuries past
And the sky rains the taste of their sweet perfume

Finally,
He has joined the race of the immortals
And leaves them………..a man
With the pride of Lebanon
Fastened securely
To his back

ii

That same wind emerges
Breaking through the foundations of time
Reaching past the laws of space

Finding him
In a strangers land

Guiding him back …..

Holding out their branching arms
Cradling him to their timeless breasts
Singing ancient lullabies
While he sleeps in their warping mist………..

He died!
Died in the arms of the immortal

His body
Feeding the thirsty ground
Saturating their roots

Oh Son
Son of the cedars
They brought you back to us
Reincarnated
Through the greenest of their leaves
________________

Dedicated to the memory of my Grandfather, Paul Michael (Boullous il Bahri)

Genetic Screams

2005-11-30T12:47:00.000+11:00

Two hands……
Only two hands……
But how they choke a thirsting spirit

Two hands……
His two hands……
Moulded onto the body of a walking furnace

He has come back!
Born again in an open palm
Where two raging seas
Stare down
Down at the objects
that link him
To Him

Escape!
Run through the barricaded wind!
Chase salvations rope

Reach for it!
With hands that mock
The surfacing fears

He is forever there
Dangling by his side.
Leading him back
Back to the den
that gently cradles
the choking years

Decaying Smiles

2005-11-30T12:45:00.000+11:00

A smile
slashed for a dollar

A heart
trodden on for land

A hand
pushing the concrete distance

A mind
Dancing on graves of injustice
Walking on water of tears
Rummaging through their screams
Digging our future goal
Where greed distantly sneers

Reaching for him
He hides…….
Hides behind them

Yet we continue to search
For the hidden answer
The hidden truth
The truth that sleeps in our blood
Yet flows through their tears
Tears that slash chubby cheeks
Cheeks that are opened to sympathy
Sympathy that urinates on frightened wounds
Wounds that travel
deep in the years

And a world away
We stand tall
Shouting their independence
While they droop
In their paradise of ruin
Picking through the rubble
of our cheers

You

2005-11-30T12:29:00.000+11:00

You’re like water
In winter
Cold to my lips
While craving your warmth

Mocking me
In Summer
Where waters steam
Hisses on desert lips

I still drink you

I am an AUSTRALIAN Lebanese

2005-11-27T07:06:00.000+11:00

( The "comments" that I am referring to in the paragraphs below are found in the comments section under my poem "Soundless Domination" )

It has taken me a few days to reply to the comment made above....
I walked through many emotions and even wrote a long reply which I was planning to happily send but......
I accidently deleted it.
All I have decided to say is ...
I am a very proud Australian.
Lebanon is a country where "the soil has never felt [my] tread".
Where my memories have only been painted by pictures and stories of its beauty.
In my homeland, Australia, my memories do not have to be painted.
I touch them,
I smell them and I live them.
I would also like to make a correction to part of the 'anonymous writers' statement.
Both my parents were not born in Lebanon.
My Father is a son of Lebanon (even though he has been a proud citizen of Australia for nearly thirty years), but my Mother and her Mother are both daughters of Australia...... technically that would make me a third generation Australian.
In additon, why can I not have a claim to this country?
It was built not just on the backbone of the white race, but on the back bone of my forebearers.

The comment above also shows concerns about me being ashamed of my Lebanese heritage.
To set the 'anonymous writers' mind at ease,
I will never be ashamed of the land or culture of my ancestors.
Lebanon will always be in my blood but it is in the blood of my past,
Australia is in the blood of my future.
As the 'anonymous writer' would know,
I have been brought up in a very respectable family that have upheld their lebanese traditions and values while respecting and amalgamating the traditions of the land in which they chose to migrate to.
On the whole, I will apologise if I was unintentionally evasive.
In future I will be more politically correct and state that I am an "AUSTRALIAN Lebanese" Thank You

Soundless Domination

2005-11-20T22:10:00.000+11:00

We
the breeders of death

Death
you inseminated
in our wombs

Cultivating
The soil of our minds

Growing

Umbilically chained
To the life source of…..
You

Blue for boys
Pink for girls
Pants for men
Skirts for women
Hate the Jews
Kill the Christians
Wipe out Allah
Protect Australia
America
Iraq
Japan

KILL!

FIGHT
for a country
not really our own

And

Make us believe
that in order to
sanctify life,

We first

Must justify ………

Death

Reincarnated Eyes

2005-11-20T22:03:00.000+11:00

He does not live
inside my mind
nor inside my heart

A home
He found
Eternally hidden
Inside my eyes

Filling them

Stretching them

Tapping
On their surface

Reminding me
He is there

Helping me to
See
The hearing
of the
blind man

Waiting
Till they close

Where he blows
his memories
down the trail
of my tears

Brainless Butterfly

2005-11-20T21:54:00.001+11:00

They shape me in
their cocoon

Painting me with
their beliefs

Preparing me for
their world

Releasing me to achieve
their dreams

Pinning my wings to
their floor

Carrying me around as
their trophy

Allowing my beauty to fly
Only
Where
They
Choose
To
Place
Me

I am the slave of
their love

They are there..

2005-11-20T10:12:00.000+11:00

They are there.......
In the corner of our minds
In the dust that settles on our conscience

They are there........
But with a flick of the switch
The dust is swept away